My biggest fear isn’t dying. I’m afraid of not growing.
I’ve been hungry for growth for as long as I can remember. As a child, I read voraciously. And not always things that were necessarily age-appropriate. I often snuck a flashlight into bed at night and would read until the early morning, expanding my knowledge, curiosity, and imagination. I always wanted to know more. And reading provided an incredible escape for me as well.
When I was 14, I read “How to Buy Stocks” by Peter Lynch. Growing up in a household where there was never quite enough money and instability was the norm, I was determined to make money on my own. And I did. In my twenties, as a young upstart on Wall Street, growth was about setting goals, handling challenges, and making sense of emotions that had been suppressed as a child. And, of course, I was focused on the growth of my bank account.
In my early thirties, growth was about growing teams and people. I dove into the study of psychology and human behavior to help myself and others grow. I was still attempting to make sense of parts of my childhood. Therapy helped a bit, but it didn’t change patterns that resulted from early imprints.
And then, my husband and I had two children, which provided for all kinds of growth.
Walking on hot coals with Tony Robbins was a catalyst for my personal and professional growth.
I focused on nonprofit endeavors in the mental health and educational areas. I did deep inner work with everyone from Tony Robbins to Sheila Kelley (who taught me pole dancing at 50…more about that in another blog) to monks in India. I realized that what I had always loved was helping others grow. It became clear that much of my success in the financial sector was more about my understanding of psychology and human behavior than my number-crunching skills.
In my early forties, after walking on hot coals and seeing people transform in front of my eyes as they were coached, I was inspired to become a life coach. I trained intensely in multiple schools and programs to understand what drives people’s behavior. I also hired a mentor who was a top coach in the industry.
Applying the same rigor I had used to become a top analyst on Wall Street; I soon realized that many people (including me) had deep patterns that were difficult to change by working exclusively with the conscious mind. Looking for a better way to create transformative change, I studied hypnosis with many of the top thought leaders in the industry so that I could help my clients transform beyond what they had imagined. As I broke through my ingrained patterns with astonishing speed using hypnosis, I shared every tool and technique with my clients. As I grew exponentially, so did they. And they inspired me to grow farther still.
If you want to grow, it’s essential to forgive and move on.
Today, at 56, I’m passionate about helping women in midlife who want to grow. There is so much more inside of us than we often realize. Every woman has magic in her, and I love to help extract it. Most middle-aged women also have heavy burdens of disappointment, hurt, or regret. I explain to them that to forgive is not to condone. Instead, it frees us from that negative energetic connection with those that hurt us. I help them let that go so they can feel lighter and freer and share their gifts. Once those burdens are gone, they are much more radiant and free. They can then grow with passion and joy.
I believe strongly in leveraging the tremendous power of the subconscious mind using hypnosis. It makes growth so much faster and easier than you can imagine. Once my clients break free of their old programming, they find that the second half of their life is a new beginning.
I was afraid to put myself on social media.
And as one of my teachers, John Overdurf, says, “All we are is change.” The world is changing, and so are we.
It’s up to us to decide if that change is characterized by contraction or growth.
I was scared to put myself “out there” on social media. Everyone told me it’s necessary if I want to help women grow on a broader scale. So, I’m doing it. For me, this is stretching and growing. It’s a little out of my comfort zone, which is a good sign. Growth happens outside of our comfort zones.
How would you like to stretch and grow?